Avoiding Facebook Jail: Using Opinions and Questions Instead of Statements

I am surprised at the number of people who think "I disagree" is an opinion. It is a statement, perhaps even a statement of fact, but it is not an opinion. People offer their opinions when they support their claims and statements. There isn't even a definition of "opinion" that allows for an opinion to be an unsupported statement. Despite that, there will be those who think there is a definition that reads: "opinion - (noun) everyone has one; (see also: asshole)."

There is more to making a statement of fact an opinion than adding "I think" to the beginning of the statement, but that is always the least you should do to stay out of Facebook jail. However, if you've already leveled up (a term my granddaughter has taught me) in the punishment factor of the Facebook algorithm, you are as likely as my friend Bryan to get sent to jail if you try to qualify a statement as an opinion by saying, "I think you are white trailer trash." It's okay to think that if you are the good kind of racist like Bryan is, but it isn't okay to just say it that way.

Stating an opinion can include any of the techniques you've already learned if you read the previous posts. Instead of making a statement that might fit on a bumper sticker and claiming it is an opinion, you explain the reasons why you think someone is white trailer trash without actually using that term, which is understandably offensive to those it belittles. 

Whereas calling someone "white trailer trash" is a racist statement, saying it this way makes a similar message an acceptable opinion: "When you remark like that, it makes me wonder if you've ever explored life outside of something the size of a trailer park." It conveys virtually the same message, but it is unquestionably an opinion that does not contain any terms recognized as racist names. It often also hits things called "trigger points."

If it did trigger an offensive reaction, the best strategy is to change from offering opinions to asking questions. I call it the Muhammad Ali Rope-a-Dope Technique. Once I have my enemy swinging wildly, I lean back on the ropes and watch it miss me in slow motion. Just as my opponent's fist is past my face, it goes back to normal speed, and I pop him back in the form of a question. Then I scoot down the ropes a bit to do the same thing after his next wild swing. 

An example of how this technique is used might go something like this:

Trailer Trash: (taking a wild swing) If you loved the country, you would support the president!!!!!

Slow motion miss due to lightning-fast reflexes: (blip, blip, blip, blip, blip)

Me: Are you upset because of all the time off you must have missed going to summer school, or do you not really know how stupid that statement is because you flunked civics then, too? (THUD, THUD, THUD is heard like Ali landing a left-right-left combination before sliding down the rope to avoid the enemy's next wild swing.)

As the battle ensues, the swings intended for knock outs aren't even glancing me:

Racist POS: You think your (sic) so smart but ur (sic) a SOB.

Slow motion miss due to lightning-fast reflexes: (blip, blip, blip, blip, blip)

Me: Thank you for noticing. As for my mom, she certainly could be a bitch to people she thought were assholes. Did you meet her? (THUD, THUD, THUD as another combination lands enough to make the enemy's knees shake a bit, but I'm playing at this point so I can get jabs in rather than the knockout punch.)

The secret to asking these questions is simple: you must learn to fake sincerity. In fact, faking sincerity is the entire purpose for setting this up as a satire blog. If you don't know what that is, it is a hosted program through which people write blog posts such as this. 

Anyway, the point of this post is to let you know how to stay out of Facebook jail by understanding the difference between a statement that can get you put into jail and an opinion that conveys essentially the same message and won't get you thrown in the slammer. In addition to that, you learned my special Muhammad Ali Rope-a-Dope Technique that takes advantage of the aggressiveness and anger that one must have in order to be as hateful as those white racists of the bad variety.

In the previous lessons:

• You learned that even the good kind of white racists, like Bryan and me, cannot call the bad kind of white racists names like Klansman and white trash in My Friend Bryan and Facebook Jail. Those are names that have negative connotations and are based on race, so they are deemed hate speech when you call those kinds of people those names.
• The lesson in Avoiding Facebook Jail: Who is Watching You? is to understand that Facebook doesn't employ people who deal with community standards. You are dealing with bots that work on formulas contained in algorithms. In Bryan's case, the bot warned him that his next violation would cost him thirty days in the hoosegow. However, Zuckerberg lies to Congress, so there is no reason to think that he doesn't have connections with the same people who helped Epstein commit suicide and is just saying the next violation is thirty days.
• I teach you how to insult creatively in Avoiding Facebook Jail: Insult Creatively. In addition to insulting people like Shakespeare once did, I also covered using synonyms that change the wording to convey the same message in other words. Since those other words are not recognized as terms used to demean radical white racists, the bots will not recognize them as terms used to demean them.