Him: Uncle Tom - Janis Joplin died!
Me: I know.
Him: Oh, you saw it in the news?
Me: Yeah, like, 35 years ago.
Him: What?
Me: She died, like, 35 years ago.
Him: She?!
Me: Geez, fuckhead, you didn't know Janis Joplin was a woman?!
Him: Not Janis Joplin! You should have your hearing checked!
Me: What?
Him: Not Janis Joplin. You should have your hearing checked!
Me: What?
Him: NOT JANIS JOPLIN! YOU SHOULD . . . fuck off Uncle Tom.
Me: You're such a fucking dweeb, dude. That's, like, the 50th time you've fallen for that one.
Him: Fuck you Uncle Tom! Listen, DJ died!
Me: Dennis Johnson?!
Him: Yeah! Man, isn't that weird?
Then we both said "we were just talking about him" at the same time, and chuckled about the coincidence of saying the same thing at the same time.
Him: A lot of great players said the same things you were saying.
Me: I'm telling you, man, he was, like, one of the greatest players ever.
Him: That's what they were saying! Hey, Uncle Tom, you should drop the 'like' when you talk. It's so 2004.
Me: What Ever . . .
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I was dispensing my vast knowledge of everything to my nephew just last Tuesday. He asked me to name the all-time Sonics team. When it came to shooting guard, I offered up Downtown Freddie Brown as the all-time Sonics' 2. I guess he expected me to say Ray Allen, but Freddie is the guy who Gary Payton surpassed as the team's all-time leading scorer. The guy was simply deadly from 50 feet in.
Just to get my nephew again, I suggested that he let me put Freddie in as the all-time sixth man because he rarely started, especially late in his career. He agreed so he could hear me say his favorite player's name as the best ever Sonics' 2.
"Easily, Dennis Johnson," I told him.
He pranced around the room emphasizing his "no fucking way" with wildly flailing arms like a rooster readying a hen for screwing. I guess he was hoping those antics might change reality. When he finally shut up and calmed down enough to consider things like reasons, he understood why he needn't be wrong answering the question in the future.
I told him that DJ was just a young player out of Pepperdine when Bill Russell's brother-in-law needed a job, so the Sonics made Bob Hopkins its head coach in 1977. Lenny Wilkens took over a dismal team after about 20 games; that event was the start of the most special two years in Sonics' team history (not to take anything away from the team that handed the 87-13 Bulls three of its losses). Wilkens brought the team something Hopkins couldn't: a coach who knew what the hell he was doing.
The team went from the worst team in the league to making the playoffs. They were the Cinderella favorites for the Western Conference, and they didn't disappoint. The Sonics didn't have a 20-point guy on the roster but could deal with most anything because of a deep and solid rotation. They made it to the finals, and went up against the Bullets, led by HOFer's Wes Unseld and Elvin Hayes. It was a great series that came to a head with game 7. The Bullets won a close game by focusing on DJ.
I recognized from that game that Dennis Johnson was the key to that team's success.
The next year, the Sonics posted the best record in the league, and beat the Bullets in 5! DJ was named the series MVP; he was clearly the best player on that team, and one of the best in the league. He was the kind of player who might contribute 10 or 15 points to the team's total, but he could neutralize the other team's best offensive player.
I told my nephew that a guy who is as great a shooter as Ray Allen might be able to get 20 points off DJ, but usually not. It's also not that DJ couldn't rack up the points had he wanted to. He had a nice shot. He was bigger and stronger than most players opposing him, but he could still run with the smaller guys. Mostly, though, he just stole the ball or blocked a shot and gave it up to Gus for a lay-in or Freddie for a pull-up 38-footer. For two years after Wilkens took over, the team didn't lose a game in which it scored 100 points because other teams just couldn't score that many. DJ was the best defensive player on that team and was named to five consecutive All-Defensive Teams beginning in that championship year.
Who knows how well the Sonics would have done without any one of its players in those years - except DJ. If the missing player were him, the team could not have accomplished what it did. I told my nephew that he probably remembers him mostly as a major cog on the monster Celtics teams in the '80s. "Yeah, but I mostly remember Bird, Parrish and McHale," he told me. "I don't recall DJ being such a big part of those teams."
I suggested he never again admit that around a really smart person, and just say "DJ was so underrated because he was, like, the X-factor teammate on a lot of great teams" so it sounds like he knows what he's talking about. And by adding the "like," a really smart person might think that he's known that since 2004.
That's my take.
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My All-Time Sonics' Teams
First Team
1. Gary Payton
2. Dennis Johnson
3. Tom Chambers
4. Sean Kemp
5. Jack Sikma
6. Freddie Brown
Second Team
1. Nate McMillan
2. Ray Allen
3. Rashard Lewis
4. Xavier McDaniel
5. Bob Rule
6. Detlef Schrempf
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